I returned to the village. The water had subsided. Everything was gone. The people, the livestock, the houses; all gone.
I knew what was going to happen. I knew that the skies were going to open. I knew that the land would be inundated. But when I tried to tell them, they drove me away. Called me a heretic, a madman, a prophet of doom.
I had come to save them. I had come to warn them, but they didn’t want to hear. They couldn’t listen. And in the end they made me go.
Now this is the only sign.
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Created for friday fictioneers. 100 words based on this picture:
Ah, Casandras are so disbelieved! Nicely described desperation to convey a need for action, while all hide their heads and pretend everything is fine.
ReplyDeletecheers,
Lorelei
http://westcoastwriters.blogspot.com/2012/08/fridayfictioneers-fork.html
Nicely done, a good sense of desolation and regret here.
ReplyDeleteIn that second paragraph I'd have used 'I'd known' instead of 'I knew'. I thought the story was going forward at that point instead of reflecting on past events.
Well done.
Thanks. For the feedback.
DeleteInteresting. I see your point, but now I'm confused About whether the tenses are consistent.
Great way of explaining the skull in the tree and one I didn't expect.
ReplyDeleteNicely written, if only they had listened. mine is here
ReplyDeletehttp://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/08/16/chidinma-friday-fictioneers-817/
excellent prose -- very much enjoyed it
ReplyDeleteOh how sad and desolate. Mine is here and linked: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/fridayfictioneers-the-withered-flower/
ReplyDeleteNice! This has an almost mythological feel to it, with the right sad undertone. Well done
ReplyDeleteBrian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/08/17/the-hatchery/