Today, I watch the mist rolling off the hills. Yesterday I
watched smoke machines pouring vapour across the stage. Now, I’m up at daybreak
to start the day. Then daybreak signalled the time to go home. Now, clean air,
sunlight and days outdoors. Then, a room full of cigarette smoke, strobe lights
and darkness. My companions are birds and insects. Then I had my fans and my crew.
I have silence and space, when before I had the beat and the crowd.
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Created for Friday Fictioneers, 100 words based on the picture.
We remember a candle burned at both ends leaving a scorched shell of person. Good take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteMine's over here
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/
Sounds like the right choice, but even right choices can come with regrets. What an interesting take on the picture and I mean interesting in the positive sense! (I think you want a question mark at the end of the last sentence.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment.
DeletePerhaps I should have used a question mark. Please see below for my thoughts on this.
A good description of the pull of things we know are going to hurt us. It's the parallel sets of concrete details you list that make this piece convincing. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteOriginal take on the prompt, very nice. Mine is here
ReplyDeletehttp://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/the-cult-friday-fictioneers-824/
A fine and unique take on the prompt. Mine is here and linked: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/fridayfictioneers-light-on-the-hill/
ReplyDeletethis one makes one revisit their own choices. nicely done.
ReplyDeleteNicely done, the contrasts between a former existence and the current one.
ReplyDeleteI love the comparisons you've drawn!
ReplyDeleteAn excellent story, tight and concise, clear as a bell in our lucky ears. The contrasting images set a rhythm beating through the piece and helped set the mood. Question, counter questions. Loved it.
ReplyDelete(Speaking of questions, should there be a question mark at the end of the last sentence? Which, by the way, was the perfect line with which to end your wonderful meditation.)
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks for the comment and the feedback.
DeleteI pondered over whether to use a question mark. I tend not to use them very often in general. In this instance, I wanted to leave some ambiguity as to whether this was a question or a statement. Perhaps it should have been a question.
"It would have killed me, so I left. I dream of returning." wow.
ReplyDeleteWonderful piece. It's difficult to give up the spotlight and that addictive lifestyle when one is not ready. But often, it abruptly ends for you. "It would have killed me, so I left." Believe it or not, you were smart to leave. Think of Elvis, Janis, Whitney, etc. I'm #36 on the list.
ReplyDelete