Tuesday 18 December 2012

Virtually Pure

The cost for bad thoughts, cheating, lying, blasphemy, not paying taxes, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Insert generic sin. The currency, clearly defined. Our Fathers and Hail Marys. I sit behind the screen and listen. Make a price. Give penance, absolution, heal. Transaction done. Next please.

"Father, I have sinned...

Of course you have. Cut to the chase. You want the numbers, the price. No need for ritual or form. It’s all the same. I've heard it before. You've done it before.

Maybe we should simplify. Modernise. Get with the program. Time to put up a list, or a website. www.confessmysins.somethingorother. Period since last confession; click: Sins committed; menu: Number of repeats; click: Terms and conditions; check box: Disclaimer not necessary: Submit button; click: Are you sure; yes/no; click: Moving graphic: please wait; processing.

That will be two Hail Marys and one Our Father. Come back soon.
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10 comments:

  1. Rog, I've had these exact thoughts. Would they take all the major credit cards and Pay Pal?

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  2. Hehehe. I'm not Catholic, but I've heard a bit about confession. I guess we're all about streamlining and technology. (Our church even offers automatic withdrawal of funds for offering.)

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  3. I think you should start that blog today! :D It could theoretically beat out google! :D

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  4. Brilliant idea. It's why I seceded from that particular sacrament in adolescence. As a child, I had to make stuff up, to make it interesting for the confessor.

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  5. This is a great idea, it might help the Church move into the 21st century!

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  6. Nice; I love what a cynical little commentary on the modern world this is in connection with one of the few things we're still supposed to take seriously.

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  7. Haha, this is great! Congrats!

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  8. What, they're not already doing this? Brilliant. Congrats!

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